Sweet MuuShuu

Redo!

2011-12-15T20:57:00.000-05:00

So a way back in October I declared that this is it and I was getting healthy and losing weight and fit. And today in mid-December, head hanging and irritated with myself, I have to declare "Ok for real this time". The worst part is that it isn't even starting where I was then. I actually think I've gained a little weight since then. Not a lot, just a couple pounds, but this is how it got so out of hand- couple pounds here and there and all of a sudden I'm heavier than I've ever been before.

At least at this point I no longer have school to worry about. That's right I'm a Master of Library and Information Science :), so that's one good thing in terms of lessening my stress level. Also extra time means that I have a chance to cook and exercise.

I've read several places lately that weight loss is 70% food and 30% exercise. The food thing I can do, but exercise is where I struggle. I do best when exercising in the morning, but it's so hard to get up when it's still dark out. Luckily I have 2 late mornings a week, so there's not one bit of excuse for missing exercise then. I just need to force myself to get at least 2 more days in there!

Today:
Breakfast: Wheat toast: 3p+, 1/3 cp egg whites 1p+, banana 0p+
Lunch: Buffalo Chicken Salad with Blue Cheese and Balsamic Vinagarette 16p+, grapes 0p+
Snacks: 3 Clementines 0p+, 2 wasa crackers 1p+, green olive tapenade 3p+
Dinner: Taco Couscous 6p+, cheese shreds 2p+, Salsa 0p+, sour cream 2p+, apple 0p+

Update

2011-10-18T22:44:00.000-04:00

Stayed within my points yesterday and exercised (not much but I did it). No exercise today, but food was ok. I don't start work until 12:30 tomorrow, so morning exercise shouldn't be a problem.

Back

2011-10-17T13:00:00.000-04:00

For me writing has always been something I do off and on. Sometimes just because the urge to write strikes me. Sometimes because I'm working through something and need a place to set things down on paper. The latter reason is why I'm writing now.

For most of my life I've been overweight. Sometimes just a bit pudgy, sometimes actually overweight. There was a brief period when I was normal. Not slim or athletic, but at least in a normal weight range. This was reached, however, by a crash diet (low/no carb) which was not a sustainable lifestyle for me.

Right now I am at the highest weight I have ever been and for the first time feel truly obese and unhealthy. There are days when my body hurts like a 57 year old rather than a 27 year old. I have terrible pain in my feet that I am more and more beginning to believe is due to an excess of weight rather than bad shoes or an excess of activity. I am desperately clinging to the highest size I have ever been, even though if I'm being honest with myself I know I should actually be at least one size up. I am unhappy with my health, lifestyle, and, although this is shallow, my appearance.

I needs to end. I am drinking too much, eating too much, and exercising too little, often times using my busy graduate school schedule and unhappiness with a job situation as excuses. For over a year I have been sort of following Weight Watchers. Well I'm done with sort of. I'm also done with excuses. I recently changed jobs and am in a much happier place because of this. I also will be taking my comprehensive exam (required for graduation) in just under 2 weeks, and finished completely in mid-December. I am not, however, putting off the change I so desperately need. This needs to happen now or when will it ever.

So here my goals: Follow Weight Watchers exactly- no more 'sort of'. Daily exercise- even if it's only 15 minutes, it's better than nothing. Write- it's better than eating your feelings. No excuses.

Starting Weight: 212

Confession

2010-07-01T22:15:00.000-04:00

I'm a pretty smart girl. Books are my first choice when I have a minute to spare, I can name not only a favorite author, but also favorite poet, and even a favorite poem. Despite a deplorable penchant for boxed Target wine and Miller Lite out of a bottle I can recognize decent wine and drink like a grown up (real women don't screw up good booze with crappy mixers BTdubs). A raging intellectual, no, but definately someone you want on you team in a Scrabble or Trivial Pursuit tournament and would not be ashamed to bring to a black ties affair.

My confession, however, is that I love reality TV. And lest you get the wrong idea,it's not just marginally higher brow shows like Top Chef or Project Runway. No I'm talking the Real Housewives of Anywhere and truly the trashier the show the better. Tonight I watched not only the Hills, but also Jersey Shore, and now Bethanney Getting Married?. And despite the fact that I view these shows with the same level of shame I imagine Christian kids approach porn with, I can't help but loving them. First of all, there's the "hey my life could be worse, it could all be on TV" factor, there's some characters on these shows that a genuinly enjoy. Some of my current reality show crushes include:

1. Kristen Cavalleri- Say what you want, call what you want, you have to admit there is something about this girls that makes you say, hey she'd be fun to hang out with.

2. Bethanney Frankel- I want to be her best friend. For real. She wouldn't even have to talk to me, all I want is to follow her around to enjoy her one liners.

3. Teresa from Real Housewives if NJ- Jersey girl with big hair who likes glitter, animal prints, and flipping tables in her spare time. What's not to love!

So that's it, my secret shame. AND I'M NOT GIVING IT UP!

SNO-MG

2010-02-05T20:51:00.000-05:00

Really DC? Really? You would think we haven't already done the snow thing this winter. I was just at Safeway and you would think that instead of snowflakes, poison and fire are falling from the sky. Dudes it's just snow. And honestly, the city did a pretty good job last time of clearing away snow. I may have treated that weekend as some sort of iced over version of spring break, meaning I was either intoxicated or hungover the entire time, but the snow was honestly fairly non-annoying and easily dealt with. So lets all stop acting like we're in Communist Russia and must fight over the last bag of baby carrots. It's just a little snow.

Once again supporting bad choices . . .

2010-01-27T19:10:00.000-05:00

But at least for once they're not mine. Because I? Am apparently all about teenage pregnancies. Seriously tonight I am enjoying the double entertainment value of Teen Mom followed by "The Pregnancy Pact", all complemented by delicious pepperchini (sp?) beef sandwich and and a side of pasta with light alfredo with broccoli. All of this and I even have a point left, so I may even have some sorbet after all this.

So see I'm making some good choices of my own at least. AND I even went to the gym tonight. Not for long, because I am definitely not one of those people who enjoys exercise, but I'm truly hoping to change that. I'm just a slow starter- look how long it took me to get started with my NY resolutions of starting to go to the gym.

uuuuuuh

2010-01-14T20:03:00.002-05:00

Why, oh why (!) do I do this myself.

I came home from work absolutely starvin' marvin (not b/c I did not pack enough, rather than I didn't feel like finishing it when I got hungry at 4:30) and immediately started eating EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. Seriously, two sandwiches, salad, a mini-quesadilla, and the last bit of ice cream in pint of vanilla bean.

Granted, when written down that doesn't sound lie oh so very much, but in my head I know I didn't need that much. More than anything, I didn't even want that much, it just happened before I was paying attention.

That's the worst thing about trying to lose weight- knowing that maybe you didn't eat enough to destry the diet, but that the scale this week won't be what you want it to be. It's sort of like coming in second place, or waiting tables and getting 18% instead of 20%- you were good, but just not quite good enough. I know that's a really crap way of looking at things, but some times you just can't help it.

PLUS! I really really REALLY WANT a glass of wine and WE ARE OUT- sucks! And since I know I don't need the wine and will probably be consuming plenty of it this weekend anyway I won't go get some.

Whining

2009-08-28T22:24:00.002-04:00

Spelled right? I love the General. I do. I know he loves me. I know he loves me more than most boys love their girlfriends. But sometimes I wish he were more romantic.

Wrong word. More ATTENTIVE.

His best friend. The illustrious, the amazing, the 4th best man (1sr My Daddy, 2nd My General, 3rd My brother)I've ever known. JZ broke up with his girlfriend. Which means every weekend in the MuuShuu abode turns into a drinking, stripper, wake up at 4 in the afternoon and demand your girlfriend go get bagels and bacon weekend. Which I don't hate. I know people need to let lose sometimes.ESPECIALLY, when other people need them.

I just wish the General made more time for he and I Even if it waqs just wandering the Safeway. Which I LOVE!

But I hate it that we spend so much time apart. I love the General and I love JZ. But sometimes I need it to be just the two of us, the General and I, and it hasn't been in a VERY LONG time. Quite literally since FAR before the 4th of July. Definately before my birthday, almost definately before the General's birthday, DEFINATELY BEFORE ST. PATRICK'S DAY! SO LONG TrulyI just need some love of my life time.

What makes it even harder is that the General's brother and is Ex basically spend more time than the General and I do together. And I HATE IT!

Cooking Forays

2009-08-11T19:47:00.005-04:00

I'm fairly adventurous when it comes to food. Even with foods I don't like, I will periodically re-try them every few years. Which is exactly how I can to have olives in my fridge and how I will occasionally eat a shrimp or two. Wild I know. Before you think all I eat are white bread and american cheese (only white american cheese, preferably from the deli), please note my fridge also contains, among other things, an array of mustards (5 at last count) and hot sauces (6, with 4 different countries of influence), cornichons, huge amounts of fruits and vegetables, and a parmesean gouda from Eastern Market that I would marry and have babies with were that, you know, not creepy.

With all the adventuring into new foods comes the occasional misstep which has led to me throwing out a whole canary melon (I can't exlain it, I just can't get behind it) and eating some sort of crazy, was-supossed-to-be-Chicago-style-but-was-fairly-close-to-an-actual-pie type pizza. Which is what led me to eating what was basically baby food this evening.

I've heard about spaghetti squash for years. It sounded easy enough- so easy you could make it in the microwave. Except my squash only squash and never spaghetti-ed. It didn't taste bad, but it was a little gloopy for my taste. Any thoughts on what I did wrong. Because I really hate wasting groceries.

In a rut.

2009-08-04T20:04:00.002-04:00

I hate that phrase. How can one be in a rut when every day is different? There's always something or someone new to see. For example: Dress Barn actually looks like it might have cute stuff (disclaimer: this is based on some brief pre-work window shopping). I always though it was in the realm of slightly overweight, not so very fashion forward old ladies. I could be described as a coule of those things depending on the situation, but never all three at once.

I'm just tired of my job. Tired of being treated like a secretary (guess what it's not my damn job to write your thank you notes). Tired of not having the things I work on being seen as important. Tired of being micromanaged. Tired of being talked down to by people who are not half as bright as me. Just tired of the whole thing.

It pays the bills, which in this economy is nothing to sneeze at. But it's nothing to be excited about and it's not being excited about it that's killing me. But there's no where to go really. I'm starting grad school in 4 weeks and I feel like I need to stick it out until then. And then stick it out to the huge event we give in November. But what then?

I just want to be excited about something. I want to feel like something I do matters.

August Goals and Frustration

2009-08-01T11:06:00.002-04:00

Alright first the positive stuff- August goals:

1. Finish laundry and get my room clean.
2. Lose 5 lbs.
3. Get through at least the first 2 levels of the 30 Day Shred.
4. Go to the gym 15 times.
5. Save $100 extra.

And the bad. It is beyond me how some people manage to be so incredibly selfish and self centered on an everyday basis. News flash the world doesn't owe you anything and I MOST CERTAINLY do not either. Act like a grown up, seriously, because you have a rude awakening coming if you continue to behave like that. The General's brother lives with us. For the most part its a situation that works out fine. He pays much less rent than he would anywhere else, considering he has half the house and a parking spot to himself.

Well he and his gf are going to the beach this week, and I thought "Great, my friend in town can use his parking spot!". Well, the brother feels that no his gf (who has her own house and whose parents live rather close) will be parking her car there for 10 days and my friend can screw herself and not have a place to park. Why can't the gf park at either her or her parents house? Basically, because she didn't feel like taking the metro last night, and drove over. Well the General and he got into it and then the brother got their father involved for no reason. So now it's a whole big thing and the General is saying he wants nothing to do with his family and the brother is saying he's moving out (which honestly means we have to move, because we do need his ortion of the rent and utilities). In fairness to the General, his father did take his brother's side with no sense of the situation, but saying that when he and I get married, his father will find out from others is a bit harsh.

I know they'll make up and the General will make up with his dad and brother and his brother won't move out, but I hate this kind of conflict and stress.

So I'm soothing my battered nerves with some Starbucks and the cheesiest of all cheesy musicals, Grease 2.

World's Worst Blogger

2009-07-29T11:33:00.002-04:00

Actually the term blogger might be a bit too strong for me. At this point I'm someone who happened to set up a blog and occasionally remembers it exists. Truly I'll try to be better about this, because I do miss writing and I love reading blogs so why not contribute to the community I appreciate so much.

Writing is also good practice for this Fall when I head back to school! In the beginning of September I go back to my alma mater to start my Master's in Library and Information Sciences. And I CAN'T WAIT! Such a nerd! I know! Not only am I overjoyed to be back in a academic setting, but I'm so excited to start studying a field that I find so timely and interesting. I'm still working at the old job, and I truly do enjoy it, but I'm also lookinng into other positions that might be more relevant in terms of my future career choices.

That's about it for now. Just a quick note about this week's goals:

1. Clean downstairs.
2. Make a BIG dent in Mt. Laundry.
3. Go to the gym twice.
4. Finish up info for school loans.
5. Blog again.

Wine infused blogging

2009-03-12T21:21:00.003-04:00

fo' reeeeeaaal, sometimes nothing is better than a $5 bottle- yes that's right bottle- of wine, the DVR, snuggling with the puppy, and a turkey sandwich. I'm a bit over points, but I'm sad about weight watchers anyway because I gained a pound this week. I feel like that it's not 100% accurate because all kinds of my schedules are a;ll bumped up and next week will be better, but we'll see.

My job is very much confusing at the moment. There are times when I hate it, because people feel they need to micromanage me (guess what they don't!), or when someone asks me to do something ridiculous for them that they could TOTALLY do themselves, but they think they're too important for, like make a copy or WRITE A THANK YOU NOTE! Other times, like this afternoon, when the girls at work and I giggled over boyfriends, wine, and a slightly ridiculous ex-employee, I love it! It's because of afternoon's like today I feel like I can wait until after I find out about grad school to look for a new job and maybe even stay there through grad school (though this is VERY much a huge possibility).

In better news I got a 1200 on my GREs. I know in terms of SATs this is decent (I got a 1310 on those), but what about GREs? Good? Decent? Terrible? On one hand the GREs may be harder because it's to get into grad school, but on the other smarter people who want to go to grad school take the GREs. Hmmmm, complicated.

1. I LOVE MATTHEW PERRY! Like, seriously, want to have Chandler's babies. 2. Enough buzzed blogging.

Grace in Small Things

2009-03-04T21:04:00.002-05:00

1. Low calorie ocean spray powder packs- like crystal lite 2 serving packs, which I also love- but even BETTER!
2. Top Chef reunion on Bravo. I love me some Team Rainbow (becasue there's nothing better than the prospect of men kissing on TV) and Team Europe (unless it's when men actually kiss on TV).
3. Black beans- no joke, I stalk them. I had a balck bean quesadilla with red onions, feta and mexican cheese mix on it for dinner. Totally random, totally thrown together, and totally delicious. Next week I think I'm going to try a taco pie thing I have a recipe for, but with some modifications.
4. Tool Academy on VH1. I'm aware all the people on it are a bit trashy, but after watching it I realize one again that I am incredibly lucky and the fact that the General cannot seem to located the dishwasher with two hands and a map doesn't matter that much. Please note the dish washer is directly next to the sink which he feels is the appropriate indefinate place for dirt dishes.
5. Corn Fritters. They serve them on some of the specials at the resturant where I work part time and they are su-PA!

A good weekend and a conundrum

2009-03-03T22:13:00.003-05:00

So I was doing really well for a while with the blogging thing and then I started to suck again. I don't know what happened! Work's been busy, but not really busier than when I was doing 3 different jobs (I'm all the way down to like 2-2.25-ish jobs- YAY ME!), and still applying for grad school (GREs are this Saturday- eek!). Truly, however, there is not one reason on God's green earth that I have not be writing. Blame it on my astounding capacity for laziness.

I have had a lovely few weeks though. My younger sister visited me this past weekend and have to say it was so so great to have her. No one who does not have a sister can really understand what it's like to be a sister. And up until this past weekend I don't think I really got it either. When we were younger we felt fought like mortal enemies and even as recently as last Thanksgiving we had to be seperated by the General at dinner (PS this was the first time he was meeting my family and he turned referee for the sis and I). All of a sudden this weekend, we got each other. We still argued and teased and she stole the book I was reading for the bus ride home, but we also sat at a bar and talked about how our little brother's actions and his choice of his girlfriend over his fmaily (every single time!) was incredibly hurtful. We laid in bed at night (having booted the General to the couch) and talked about how much we loved our mother and a boy she's been seeing and could love if he lived closer. Maybe it's because we're older and aren't competing for attention and clothes and whatever else anymore. For whatever reason it was great.

In other news and beginning to over work and am torn as to whether I should look for something else or should wait until I hear about grad school. Conundrum. On one hand, in this economy it will definately take me a while to find another position, so I should start right away. On the other other hand if I get into grad school I don't neccessarily want to be in a new job, because I feel like my schedule won't be as flexible as it would be in a job where they know me and I've proven myself. It's only a matter of a month or so, but truly I'm getting edgy.

Yeah

2009-02-11T20:29:00.002-05:00

I just finished a two day event at work.

I planned it, organized it, got ready for it, followed up with everyone involved, and was the main point of contact. I did all this while doing my job, our intern's job (we don't have one this semester), and the Director of Events job (she left the company about 3 weeks ago, with barely a week's notice, classy I know). Oh, yeah and supervising a huge database conversion, the entire responsibility for which fell on me.

I'm exhausted because I've worked myself into such a state about this stupid thing that I haven't slept a full night in a week. My feet hurt because I spent the entire event running all over the event space, checking on speakers, my boss, attendees, and employees of the venue. My back hurts from lugging boxes of binders back and forth. Finally, my stomach hurts from eating catered food for two days. Never mind the headache I have from pounding diet coke for two days because I needed the caffeine to keep going.

I also kicked the event's ass and am HUGELY proud of myself.

I have my one year review in a month and a half. With the way the economy is, I most likely will not get a raise, but DAMN do I deserve one!

Maybe I should consider waking up more.

2009-02-08T12:03:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite things to do is grocery shop. I know, weird, but for some reason I just find it oddly soothing and exhilirating at the same time. Soothing because a grocery store is always well ordered and you always know where to find what you're looking for and exhilirating because you can plan all your meals for the week on the fly, based on what's on sale that week. Additionally since a grocery store opened up across the street from my house WITH A STARBUCKS INSIDE, I can indulge two loves all at one time

Anyway, I like to do my shopping Sunday mornings. The General is a sleeper and usually will sleep past noon on a Sunday, while I can't seem to sleep past 9AM e-VER! Additionally, there's hardly anyone there and most things are stocked.

So today I get up, wander to the grocery store still in my pajamas (don't look so shocked, they're black capri pants and a tshirt), my get Starbucks ice tea, shop, get my ice tea refill (55 cents :)), go home, unpack my groceries, decided the refridgerator is a mess, clean out the fridge, make a lean pocket, and then decide "Hey, I'm making roast chicken tonight, I should be like a woman back in the day and make stock or soup or something from the carcass".

So I head over to my pretty pink laptop to google 'chicken carcass' (like I said, just like back in the day) and on the way stop to take my shoes off. And that's when I notice that I have chosen to conduct my morning in two different shoes. And no, not a similar looking brown shoe and black shoe. And not even in two sneakers of different shades of gray. No, I have chosen to wander the grocery store amongst my neighbors in one gray and purple lace up sneaker and one black and pink slip on sneaker (boating shoe? Unclear).

Awesome.

Note:

2009-02-03T23:34:00.001-05:00

I will at some point be developing and posting a 101 in 1001 days list . . . No promises on when said list will appear, though hopefully within the next week.

Cranky Bastard

2009-02-03T21:56:00.001-05:00

Here's why I'm cranky:

1. I'm freeeee-zing!
2. I started the 30 Day Shred last night and came home and my DVD player wouldn't turn on. Please note, I bought the DVD player last week and tonight would have been the second time I used it. Yes, you read that correctly, SECOND.
3. I have to put together 50 binders for work and am only have way through.
4. The flowers I got last week are wilting.
5. No one in my home seems to know where the dishwasher is but me. I mean really, what would possess someone to leave a bowl half full of milk in the sink when there is a completely empty dishwasher like six inches to your left.

Alright and things I have to be happy about:

1. My sweet puppy is snuggled up next to me like a little corn chip baby.
2. I STARTED the 30 Day Shred. I'm usually so lazy about exercise and the fact I started, and was coming home to do it again, despite how sore I was made me a little proud of myself.
3. Made a new recipe for dinner: Black bean and feta tacos with cilantro lime slaw. Not gonna lie they were REALLY good.
4. We have a new director of meetings starting on Monday so I'll be down to doing two peoples jobs rather than the three I have been doing the past month.
5. Knowing I'm going to see my Person in two weeks for her bachelorette party.

So life isn't so bad at all :).

Question on the bachelorette part where does one purchase all the penis items that are required?

Note:

2009-02-01T21:13:00.003-05:00

I made a great recipe tonight- sort of. It's crisy ranch chicken breasts. It's just boneless skinless chicken breasts dipped in egg whites and then dredged in a blend of ranch dressing mix, bread crumbs, and parmesan cheese, and then baked for an hour. I got the receipe from sparkpeople and while it's not much of a "recipe" (aka not all that complicated), it was REALLY good and I have plenty of leftovers for lunch and dinner tomorrow, and possibly lunch on Tuesday (because I? Am all about cooking for multiple meals at one time). Anyway, like I said, not much of a recipe, though I will say that the original website said to use crushed up rice cereal for bread crumbs and I used panko breadcrumbs. Oh, and actually I used a 4 cheese blend rather then parmesan. So I TOTALLY made this my own.

Do excuse the random nature of this post as I truly felt a pint glass full of white box wine from Target was the way to end a log boring Sunday.

Another note: Does anyone else feel it is the law that one must spend $100 at Target any time one walks in the door?

Uh.

2009-02-01T14:37:00.002-05:00

Not gonna lie, sometimes working a second job REALLY sucks. I mean you get up Saturday and do whatever you need to do, and it's always in the back of your head that "Hey, I need to go wait tables soon." And then you get done at 2 in the morning and after you wake up at 10 on Sunday and wander around for a bit and have some breakfast and whatever else you need to do, it's all of a sudden 3 o'clock in the afternoon and your weekends almost over. I really wish someone would pay me to cook and read and wander around- I'd be really good at it, I promise.

And so I don't end on such a very whiney note:

Grace in Small Things:

1. Safeway brand fruit sorbet- fat-free, but so lush and delcious tasting you feel like it's a super decadent treat.
2. America's Next Top Model marathons every Sunday on Oxygen.
3. Black velvets (1/2 Guiness, 1/2 cider) after a long night waiting tables.
4. Snuggling under warm blankets in a bedroom that's just a little to cold.
5. Finding my gold ballet slippers :)

Brief note:

2009-01-27T21:10:00.001-05:00

I'm starting 30 Day Shred tomorrow- hopefully I can stick to it, because based on everything I've read you get great results.

Say whaaaat?

2009-01-27T20:03:00.002-05:00

I don't know about you, but I tend to think about what I'm going to cook for dinner for an embarassing proportion of my day. It's a family thing. A friend of the family once said that my family was unlike any other group of people she had ever come across: at breakfast we talk about what we're having for lunch, at lunch we plan what we'll do for dinner, and at dinner we talk about breakfast the next day. What can I say, we're focuesed.

Anyway, all day I planned this lovely stir-fry. I had chicken breast defrosting, a Asian mix bag of frozen vegetables, and even stopped at the grocery store for hoisin sauce, broccoli slaw, and some water chestnuts to not just throw, but chuck it over the edge of awesome.

I get caught up at work and, between that and the grocery store, end up home a little late. I start my brown rice side, sautee my chicken, and broccoli, add my delicious blend of edamame, baby corn, red peppers, and sugar snap peas, and finish it all off with the fresh crunch of water chestnuts. Basically, I create a masterpiece of flavors of the East. And then . . .

I didn't feel like it. I had a pizza from Safeway's house brang of Lean Cuisine. And I wonder where my time goes.

In other news, I seem to be improving in terms of my GRE studies. If I could just focus a bit more I know I could do really well. We'll see. Maybe once I hit February (just over a month until I take the test), I'll get really focused. I also need to get my act together with applications. I have all my recommenders lined up I just need to get all the information to them. Alright, goal for the end of the week: get all relavent information to people who are writing recommendations.

Grace in Small Things

2009-01-25T21:30:00.002-05:00

I hate the idea of commiting to counting my blessings. It feels like it would become more of a chore and if you feel like something is burdensome, how can you appreciate it? So:

1. The way my puppy snuggles into my lap when I sit on the floor.
2. Grad school applications being free if you submit them online.
3. Grocery shopping (I'm really weird. I love wandering around and planning my meals for the week. Not kidding I would do it everday.)
4. Giant sale at Border's. I got like 6 books for less than $20.
5. Starbuck's Iced Green Tea.

Nothing all that interesting happening to me otherwise. Though I must say I'm SO not good at the posting more thing.

Slow starter

2009-01-11T20:22:00.002-05:00

So if you haven't blogged in almost 6 months, does it count as starting a new blog when you start again? No, you're just lazy and trying to talk your way out of it? Alright, I'm cool with that.

So as I've started to think about my New Year's resolutions (like I said slow starter) I thought actually paying attention to this blog would be a good start. Even BETTER! Publically posting my resolutions seemed like an awesome way to actually shame myself into actually HONORING them. Which I assure you is unheard of.

So

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS 2009

1. Post 100 times on blog.
2. Learn to knit.
3. Take GREs. (MARCH 7TH!!!!!!)
a. Actually study for GREs.
b. Do not give self heart attacks regarding GREs.
4. Keep room neat for 2 weeks in a row at least once.
5. Reach goal weight.
a. Follow weight watchers.
b. Start exercising.
6. Pay down credit card debt.
7. Try 1 new recipe a week.

Ok all of this is doable. Some of it is already in the works, which is nice. That's about it currently but hopefully I'll not only be able to follow the 100 posts resolution, but also make them entertaining.

So cool

2008-07-22T19:08:00.002-04:00

You know what's cool. Starting a blog and not writing in it for a month. Also cool is sitting in your suit after a very long day at work sipping bacardi gold rum and apple juice. SOUNDS VILE, but is surprisingly delicious after an 11 hour day. So maybe it's the day and not so much the drink.

I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness lately. Both giving and getting it. Three stories:

1. Now I'm crazy about the General. More than crazy. Wild for, lust for, that look puppies get in their eyes when you play tug with them for (own a jack russell puppy, you'll know what I mean). But when we fight, it is a FIGHT. We very rarely snap at, or get generally annoyed with eachother. It's always the bg dramatic blow out with screaming and name calling and things said that you remember forever. Recently, things went a little too far. And yes there was drinking involved. hey've edged around this point before but never this bad. This was always the point when I said I would be dpne with someone. And atfirst I was done. And then I thought f my life without him, and couldn't be. It's one of my worst memories. Only the second day of my life that I would erase if I could. Yet a part of me is happy it happened, because maybe things aren't so very black in white, even if you always thought they were. And I'd rather live a life that is a little muddled wih him then a crystal clear life with someone else.

2. I had a friend in college. One of those friends who is like a lover without the sexual chemistry. Someone whose body you know as well as you own and could order for you in a restaurant if you tried. And this friend and I just sopped being friends one day. not by my choice, and for a long time I dind't understand what wasgoing on. We a ton of mutual friends who essentially chose her side because she was going through something hard. So I turned to a new boy who eventualy became a friend and wapped myself in him for a time. And the girl who had made it clear she wanted me out of her life disappeared from my life and people saw how she and they had wounded me. I let myself be angry for a time, but let it drift from my life. Then she called me one night with her voiceful of tears and spoke of being sorry and lost years. And I was ok with her. I never thought we would be close friend again and over two years we spoke very little. All of a sudden she wanted me to stand with her on the most important day of her life. I realized I still meant that much to her and all of a sudden knew that she still meant that much to me. So friendship doesn't have to be every day or even every year to be real and close and important.

3. My best friend my whole life wrote me a letter a few months ago telling me what a terrible friend I had been for doing many of the things she had been doing for years. And I wrote back and apologized for some things and defended myself from others. And we haven't spoken since. She's all of a sudden engaged and planning a wedding. I feel like I won't be there. Part of me feels like that would break my heart if I wasn't there and part of me says screw her, she's being a overly critical hypocrite. So the week before the wedding I'm going to send her a gift. Something I know she'll love, so she'l know she's in my heart. And that will fix the broken heart because she'll know I still love her and make me feel a bit smug and snotty because I took the high road (sort of).

So forgiveness can take many, even sometime malicious forms for me, and can take years to come. But when it comes it's the most wonderful feeling in the world. I wish I could bottle tat feelingor at least come by it more easily, as I have been known to hold a grudge.

Arr matey!

2008-06-21T13:25:00.004-04:00

Last night I went to possibly the COOLEST bar of my life. It had a pirate theme. That's right you heard me right A PIRATE THEME. The waitstaff dresses up and there all this cool deor. Corny? Yes. But a hell of a lot of fun. The General ordered this drink called grog that was basically sraight rum. I'm not kidding. The waitress was fairly impressed when he had 3. What both she and he did not realize was that I was pounding them when he wasn't looking. Shockingly I don't remember getting home all that well. In general a great night.

We had dinner with my friends M and P, and not gonna lie sometimes I love doing things like that with other couples. It just feels so grown up. Good thing we kept that feeling by then getting tanked in a bar with a pirate theme.

I wonder when you stop having that feel of "God, I'm so grown up!". Well yeah, I'm 24. I have a job. I have bills. I have my own health insurance. I live with my boyfriend. Logically I know I'm an adult. But sometimes when I'm changing the laundry, or cooking dinner for the General and I, or writing a check for a bill, I get that moment of "Ohmigod, these are things grownups do. Oh wait I'M a gorown up". I know I'm odd.

An now a litte whining. Why can men not wash pots/pans after they use them? Not kidding there has been a dirty pot and a dirty pan sitting on our stove for 2 days. I cooked Wednesday night and cleaned the kitchen up and made sure everything was put away and neat. Went to dinner and a movie on Thursday and get home from work on Friday and there's a dirty pan and pot on the stove and a colander with dried pasta in the sink. Am I suppossed to clean that up? Because frankly that sucks. I know I'm going to because it skeeves me to leave dirty things too long. But seriously? Is it too much to ask to clean up after yourself. I am absolutely NOT a neat freak. Leave your shoes in the middle of the living room and your work stuff on the kitchen counter. But don't be dirty.

Start Low

2008-06-17T13:22:00.002-04:00

So I set up a blog account and ignored it for a week. Sounds about right for me. It is for this reason that I am the proud owner of no less than 9 cookbooks out of which I've cooked maybe 1/2 a dozen times. And no that is not each, that is total. It is for this same reason I have lived in a house with a washer and dryer for more than a month and a half and still havea dirty laundry pile roughly the size of a VW bug in the middle of my bedroom. Yes my friends this reason is called laziness.

Which brings me to my next point that the time has come to beat my inherent and instinctual laziness and do something with myself. So on that note I tried to change my home gym from the one on Capital Hill to the either the Columbia Heights location (which is new and fancy, but adjacent to a Target, thus I would be too poor to afford my gym membership) or the Gallery Place location (which I feel would be full of pretty enough people that I would get competitive and take the working out thing seriously. Well when I called to try and accomplish this is turns about it would cost $40 to change my home locale. This is on top of the $60 a month I already spead on my membership! WTF WSC? W.T.F. Really, don't they realize that most of their membership is poor lower level government and nonprofit folk? Because once they all get promoted and rich they go work out at Results. So instead I'm going to walk home from work. About a mile and half. If I can start doing this regularly and talk the General (aka Boyfriend) into buying me a Wii Fit (my new obsession), I should (eventually) be in OK shape.

Giving this a shot . . .

2008-06-11T16:38:00.000-04:00

So I'm not good at anyhting if not procrastinating. And I'm REALLY good at procrastinating. Lately I've been mildly obsessed with a lot of different blogs and thought maybe I try one out. I like to write and haven't really been doing much of it lately, so why not?

So for backround: A 24 year old girl from New Jersey (best state E-VER) living in Washington, DC with her awesome boyfriend and his brother and the cutest pup ever, Nico. Not sure of a direction, path, or even specific goals, but definately learning to know herself a little better. Currently working at a government related association and waitressing on weekends (the 7 day a week thing? Not awesome), and getting financially under control, so she can start living the life she wants to live.

That's clearly all boring, so I'll wrap up now. I promise I'm WAY more interesting then that.